The Middle
by ThereputicChainOfEvents
Summary: They both lost Yancy. And living with that together, without him, hurt them both more than they would ever say aloud. Listening to each others thoughts day and night was more than either of them could take anymore. So Raleigh left. Then Marshall went looking for him.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Something pounded the bed around me. Groaning I heard a computer droning on specs. Louder than the computer, was the Ranger repeating everything that had already been broadcast.

I felt the arm underneath me get pulled away. The lights were on in the room and I woke up enough to hear Raleigh ramping on about 'Codename Knifehead'. Groaning, I dove deeper into the sheets.

"What time is it?"

"2:00" The younger answered.

I peeked out to glare at him.

There was shouting coming from the hallway outside of the room as members of the Jaeger crew suited up and prepared for battle.

"A.M.?" Yancy confirmed, turning and running a hand over the covers where my arm was.

"Yep." Raleigh shuffled some more. "What do you say? Fifth notch on the belt?"

There was a banging on the door. "Come on, Becketts. Time for the Drop."

Yancy walked across the room. "Hey, kid?"

Raleigh turned around in the little kitchen. "Yeah?"

"Don't get cocky." The bathroom door shut.

The room started to die down.

I was nearly back to sleep when I felt the sheets pulled away from my head.

A set of warm lips kissed my forehead. "For good luck." Raleigh whispered. "Don't leave us out there, Angel." The sound of boots landing on to the floor followed.

I opened my eyes to see his blue ones looking back at me. "I'll be with you both. The whole time." I whispered back.

Yancy pulled the bathroom doors open, already in his drop uniform. He laced up his boots and grabbed his coat.

I still had the covers pulled back, watching him stand and walk back over to the bed. "Go back to sleep, Andi. We'll be back." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. "Promise, Love."

I smiled at him, watching them both walk out of the room before ducking back underneath the covers.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I slipped into Raleigh and Yancy's minds on the way to the Drop bay.

Yancy smiled at the familiar tickle of me hearing his thoughts.

Raleigh responded. 'took you long enough.'

'I could be sleeping.'

He smirked as they began installing his circuitry suit. 'you can sleep after we bag this one.'

'You bring him back to me, Raleigh.' I laid back into the pillows. 'And you'd better come back with him.'

'Whatever you say, Angel.'

Countless simulator battles and 4 deployments passed, I was used to sharing the mind of Gipsy Danger.

The motions leading up to Drop were always the same. I tracked the boys through the neural handshake, listening to the familiar voice of Tendo Choi through Yancy's ears.

I settled back into bed, I backed into the mind of the machine. Settling between Raleigh and Yancy into the Handshake itself.

I drifted, listening to the orders.

'Marshall is really going to let them die out there?' I heard cross their mind.

"You know what I'm thinking?" Raleigh looked at his brother.

"I'm in your brain," Yancy snapped back. "I know."

"Let's go fishing."

'You never did appreciate the importance of the many.' I mumbled out loud, tossing my feet over the bedside and getting down.

Pride spread through the neural as the boys picked up the boat, saving the civilians.

I felt their muscles pull as the machine around them reacted. Blasts landing effectively.

"Gipsy, what the hell is going on?" Crossed the comms.

"Job's done, Sir." Raleigh answered. "Lit it up twice. Bagged out fifth kill." The youngest Beckett was full of pride and confidence.

Nothing would bring that attitude down for at least a month.

"You disobeyed a Direct Order!" Pentecost shouted back.

"Respectfully, Sir," Yancy began, bringing out his formal tone, "We intercepted a Kaiju and saved everyone on that boat."

"Get back to your post, Now!"

I saw through each brother's eyes as they smiled at each other.

"Yes, Sir."

Stepping out of the kitchen, I pulled on a pair of pants and started lacing my boots. I was going to meet the boys once they'd docked back in the bay.

"Gipsy!" Pentecost shouted over the speakers. "We're still getting a signature! That Kaiju is still alive!"

The brothers looked at each other.

"Grab the boat and get out of there." Came the order. "You copy? Grab the boat and get out of there now!"

The Jaeger had hardly turned around when the Kaiju jumped out of the water and slammed into the robot.

Sparks flashed across Yancy's vision as the Jaeger took full force. The cockpit was taking damage.

Growls from the Kaiju could be heard through the hull.0

"Take it, Raleigh!"

"I got this," He prepared the plasma cannon to fire another shot. He had just reached over to aim when the Kaiju rammed its horn into the shoulder of the Jaeger. 'Knifehead' had stabbed the Jaeger.

Data from the Jaeger shot through the relays. That was Raleigh's hemisphere of the machine and pain quickly shot through that side of his body, and settled deep into his mind, I felt the pain spread along my own body.

Through Yancy, I registered the cry of pain that came from the Ranger and matched it with my own scream as I tumbled down onto the floor of our barracks.

"Loccent, We're hit!"

The Arm of the Jaeger was ripped off. And in the process, both Raleigh and I felt the data communicate as through our own arms had been ripped from our bodies.

Adrenaline prevailed and I managed to get up from the floor just as I watched talons crash through the cockpit.

Getting up, I rushed from the room, heading straight for Loccent and the control room.

The Ranger's slept as close to the bays as possible and that meant Loccent was only a few minutes away.

I heard the Comms from the Jaeger echoing through the control room as I mounted the stairs. "The Hull! It went through the Hull!" Raleigh's voice blasted from the speakers, causing the stairs to shake.

I felt Yancy's equipment shake as he looked up as the system controls linked to his suit shook from the hull damange. Seeing the talons sink into the metal and cabling of the ship. He saw the claws come to tear him from the ship. It was like drowning in fear, before a cloud of calm crossing the mind as He accepted the possibility.

"Raleigh, listen to me!" I was so deep into Yancy's mind that it was suddenly me in the drift, me in his brain along with Raleigh. Me shouting at my kid brother, "You Need-"

I felt the circuity system linked into the suit pull as I was ripped into the air. The terror combining with the whiplash and freezing rain. Moving so fast in the air, there was a flash of the clouds and lightning, like a snapshot, just before I felt the impact onto the water.

I felt Raleigh's fear and anger as I watched Yancy ripped from the ship.

Shock set in as the Right hemisphere was ripped away from the Left. As Yancy's final through faded from the Drift. Faded from my mind.

My boots met the threshold of the control room as I dropped. My mind suddenly more empty than it had ever been. I didn't even register as people raced towards me. My eyes saw only black and my mind saw everything Raleigh was seeing.

The empty hole in the Hull of the Gipsy. The hole of sparks and missing pieces and more importantly, missing Yancy.

"No! No!"

I felt my own lung burn with the force of the screams now echoing through the speakers in the comm room.

Shocks passed through the suit as the Computer programming and Artificial Intelligence buffered, struggling to make sense with the amount of damage taken to the ship.

A Jaeger missing an arm and half a head along with a pilot, Not a single gauge or panel related to the Gipsy was making sense. The humans operating the panels took their hands away and watched in horror as the prepared to lose another Pilot.

Funneling my conscience into Raleigh's head, I felt him switch hands, taking the trigger mechanism in his right hand. Bouncing around in the Jaeger as he prepared the Plasma cannons on the right arm.

Knifehead forced its horn through the chest of the Gipsy Danger. Effectively piercing where a heart would have been placed on a human. Pain once again tore through both Raleigh and myself.

Drawing the plasma cannon up, the Kaiju bit down onto the torso of machine. Tearing off chunks it failed to notice the cannon loading right beside its head. The kaiju reeled up, preparing to attack the Jaeger again and Raleigh set the plasma cannon off, blasting into the Kaiju.

Transmissions from the Jaeger stopped.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I watched the beast tumble into the ocean. My gaze held until the foam from the splash dissipated.

"No signatures, Sir." Was the first thing I managed to decipher from my surroundings.

Marshall Pentecost had stepped away from the microphone. No reason to bark orders at the dead. And without signatures from the Jaeger, there was not a doubt that both pilots were dead.

Tendo looked up from his Operations panel. "What do we do now, Sir?"

I pushed everyone from around me, lifting my weight from the floor with the stair railing. "Stacker!"

The Marshall pulled himself from staring into space. "Angel." He focused on me. "You have my -"

"Raleigh's out there!" I practically vomit.

"We have no way of knowing—" He stopped as he saw my eyes. Reflected the same blue as Raleigh's. "Are you still with him?"

I nodded, fading from the control room to watch the Jaeger standing still as waves broke against the great machine.

'Raleigh?' I whispered in the back of his mind, scared I would be met with silence. 'Don't leave me out there!' I repeated, pleading him to answer me.

'Don't leave me out here, Angel.' Came the response, barely registering anything, as he turned to look through the space left where Yancy would have been.

"He's alive." I answered aloud to Pentecost.

"He's piloting back to Shore?"

"He took a lot of trauma. Physical and mental."

"Can he continue to pilot the Gipsy?"

"I can take the right hemisphere and get him home." I offered.

Tendo had walked up by now. "Can you do that? Remote pilot a Jaeger?"

I shook my head and I noticed I was still in the Neural handshake as Raleigh shook his head also. 'Can we pilot this thing together?' I asked him, staring out across the waves.

The both of us teared up at the realization of someone other than Yancy being a copilot.

'I promised to stay with you, but you need to come back, Raleigh.'

There wasn't a complete thought, only his mind trying to comprehend another person besides Yancy in his head. Then a realization that I was always going to be in his head anyway.

'I'll take right hemisphere? You can see and navigate?'

He nodded, as did I.

"I can remote the other hemisphere." I answered the Marshall

"How?"

"I'm already in the Jaeger. As long as I can get into Raleigh's mind, and Raleigh's mind is tied to the Gipsy, I can share the neural load with him."

"And you're sure this will work?"

"I'm drift compatible with Raleigh. I was already in their minds when the handshake occurred, there's no need to reinitiate."

"Get me a helicopter!" He shouted. "We've got a Ranger out there!" He looked back at me. "Can you go? Can you fly?"

"I'm going to be there when you pull him from that Jaeger."

"Yes Ma'am."

Tendo rushed for the Helicopter just before takeoff, "ANDI!" He held something out to me.

Taking it from his hand, I unrolled Yancy's Gipsy Danger leather jacket. I looked at him thankfully. Pulling it on, I buckled into my seat and prepared for the longest flight of my life.

Once buckled in, I gave myself over to the Jaeger, locking into the Neural handshake, I pushed the right leg forward through the waves.

The path wasn't straight, especially without a graphic on the screen pointing in the appropriate direction. I could remember the location of the Gipsy when it lost all transmissions, but after the transmission loss, I couldn't remember if we had been facing North or West. I could communicate the distance to Raleigh and take half of the mental weight while he began to push through the waves.

Still in Raleigh's head, I saw the coastline. Walking until the Jaeger met with the shallows.

Instinct took over as we fell forward, he dropped the robot to its knees and reached out the arm to break the fall.

Snow began to fall through the hole in the hull as the Ranger emergency ejected himself. Dropping to the ground, He crawled from the ship.

The difference without the Drift was significant. It felt as through a pressure had released from both of our minds and I took a deep breath as we adjusted.

I had returned to my own mind to communicate the demographics to the pilot. Leaning back I looked through his eyes, I noticed the shattered helmet. Chunks of armory ripped off and blood staining nearly every white surface left.

Walking from the wreckage, he looked around, shock and delirium had long since set in. "Yancy." He mumbled out.

He managed a few steps before dropping into the snow and slipping out of consciousness.

I gasped, feeling him drop from my mind. Without eyes to look through, I was forced back into my own mind.

"We've found the Jaeger!" The pilot shouted, back.

"Around the head, he crawled from the Hull!" I shouted, unbuckling. "Drop us there!"

"I've got no signature from the Gipsy or the suit."

"He's unconscious. We have to get there, NOW!"

"Drop on the other side of the Gipsy!" Marshall commanded. "We drown him in snow and it'll take us hours to find him."

"No it won't." I argued, feeling cold set into the insulated suit as his unconscious temperature started to lower.

Paramedics prepared their equipment we lowered to the ground.

As we neared the robot, I dropped from the chopper first. Landing on the arm of the Gipsy, I slid down onto the opposite side, away from the landing zone.

"Andreanna!" Marshall called behind me.

I hit the ground running, getting to Raleigh before the helicopter had even landed.

There was an old man next to him, trying his best to do anything.

Going straight to his head, I quickly found the release on the helmet, throwing it into the snow a few feet away. Pulling his head into my lap, I found his pulse.

"I found him. He walked out of that thing!" The old man tried to explain.

"Raleigh, Raleigh!" I put my hand in front of his face, feeling breathe come out, somewhat shakily. I reached for his mind, but the unconsciousness left a resistance.

Paramedics swarmed us.

Marshall tossed an insulation blanket over my shoulders. "You're going to freeze."

"He's breathing and there's a pulse." I related. "But he isn't responding to me."

"You've woken him up before?" One of the medics asked me.

"Can you try again?" Another medic asked, "We're going to strap him down, but with him being unresponsive."

"I can't give you responsive." I snapped. "But I can put him in a memory so he doesn't feel the pain."

"How long can you keep him there?"

"How long do you need?"

"Get him back to base!" Marshall interrupted.

The medics lifted him from the space in front of me and put him onto a gurney. Strapping him down, they started moving him to the landing zone.

Marshall put an arm around my shoulder, holding the insulation blanket onto me and ushered me towards the helicopter.

They connected him to wires, machines. Plugging in the suit and pulling vitals from whatever relay gel was still in the suit.

Breaking away pieces of the circuitry suit, they assessed the wounds that had caused blood to seep through the panels.

I reached out, setting a hand on his face, which despite the shattering of his helmet, was unmarked.

The physical contact gave me leverage to get into his head. His mind was blank. A black pit of emptiness. 'Ray? Raleigh?'

A shift in his head proved he could hear me.

"We're going to wheel him straight into an operation room," One of the paramedics was telling Pentecost. "We're going to do everything we can for him physically, but with the other pilot being ripped from his mind like that… We can't fix him mentally."'

"Hopefully she can."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Doctors met us at the helicopter pad. They pulled the gurney off started wheeling him inside. Outside of the operation room I was pulled away by Tendo.

"They've got to get him into the OR. You can't go." He said, pulling me away.

Settling into the waiting room, I pushed through the black space in Raleigh's mind.

'Raleigh?' I pulled his consciousness into a mental recreation of the Dock Bay.

'Angel?' He looked around. 'This isn't real is it?'

'What gave it away?' I wandered over to look into the empty hanger bay.

'I should be in Gipsy Danger if she isn't here, where are we?'

'You are here. Well, you're in the medical bay.'

'Where's Yancy?' A look came over his face and I felt him pulling towards more recent memories.

'Raleigh, don't.' I pled, turning around. 'I need you to stay here, with me.'

'What happened?'

'You're in medical. You bagged your fifth kill.'

'What happened to Yancy?"

'Go to those memories if you need to,' I held out my hand, 'but take me with you. You promise to come back to me. If you let go, I don't know if you'll come back to the real.'

He stepped forward, he was still in his damaged circuitry suit, but he hadn't looked down to see the damage. He took my face in his hands, looking down at my teary eyed face. 'Yancy isn't back with you? He's not there, on the outside of our minds is he?'

I buried my head into his suit. When I looked up, I could see us back in the Gipsy. Back in the battle. Raleigh was back in his cradle and rewatched his brother being ripped from the hull.

'Hey, hey, Raleigh!' I put my hands back onto his helmet.

He looked down at me and suddenly we were back in the Dock Bay. 'No. no!'

'We piloted back to mainland. Pentecost found you and they're operating right now to save your life.'

'And Yancy?'

'I'm sure that once they get you awake again… they'll go and retrieve…'

'And if I don't wake up?'

'You promised to come back to me!'

'I also promised to bring Yancy back, I failed.'

'You want to stay here, in your own mind, and relive the loss and pain …'

'Even if they manage to fix me, I'll never pilot again! I won't pilot without Yancy. You want me to wake up to a world without my brother.'

'A world without my husband! I lost him too! I can't lose you, not after I lost him.'

The strength of my anger in his mind was causing another shift. Causing him to relive another memory.

Suddenly we were back in a church. Or rather in the church wing of a Shatterdome.

Raleigh was standing in from of me, wearing a Ranger dress uniform. 'You're doing it. You're marrying him.'

'Are you going to keep acting amazed?' The memory of me asked him, standing there in a white dress.

I pulled out of his mind. Dragging myself out of the memory and into the real world, I woke up back in the waiting room of the medical bay.

Marshall Pentecost came out of the operation viewing room. "They've gotten him stable. Not out of the woods yet, but they're optimistic. At least of his physical health. They're not sure the effects of him piloting the Jaeger on his own just yet." He shot a quick glance at me.

I got up, walking away from the waiting room.

"Where are you going?" Tendo asked.

"I'm going to sleep." I answered back, "Call me back if he wakes up."

"I thought you promised to keep him away from his painful memories."

"I can do that from my room. If he stops being an asshole, I'll be happy to help him wakeup."

Pentecost looked at Tendo, "I feel like you know more than I care to, Mr Choi?"

"I've been with that girl since she met the Beckett Boys. She's always been drift compatible with Raleigh, and she married Yancy."

"Mr. Choi, I'm going to pretend to be very bad at math."

The Operations tech nodded. "If Raleigh is in there to wake up, she can do it."


	5. Chapter 5

I was so lost in my thoughts, I let my feet guide me. I finally looked up to see the empty Gipsy Danger bay.

Looking around, I saw Raleigh's Gipsy Danger jacket. Picking it up off of the hook, I held onto it and wandered back to the Beckett's room.

I hung Raleigh's jacket on its hook.

'Angel?' I heard Raleigh's voice call.

'What?' I snapped back, looking up at the very far distance up to the top bunk.

The empty bunk, in the eerily silent apartment. I'd never been alone in this apartment, and it was unsettling.

Nearly as unsettling as the phantom pain of having my left hemisphere ripped away. Or the phantom pain of having my shoulder impaled. Or the very real pain brought on by the very unreal information that my husband was floating somewhere in the ocean near a dead Kaiju.

'Are you still in medical?' Raleigh's voice questioned in the back of my head.

'No. I left.' I responded, dropping onto the floor in the center of the apartment. I started picking at the laces on my combat boots.

'I'm sorry. Of all the memories I hate reliving …'

'You still brought it up. You still don't understand.'

'What did the doctors say?' He switched subjects.

'They said you're physically stable. Just need you to mentally come around.'

'And if I don't want to wake up?'

I remained silent, once again contemplating the journey to the top bunk.

'You promised to stay with me.' He reminded.

'And you promised to come back to me. I won't live the rest of your life inside of your head. I need you to come back to the physical.'

He reached out, looking through my eyes. 'Just sleep in my bed.'

'Sure that's a great idea?' I threw my boot across the floor.

'They're not going to release me to use it.'

'So you're going to wake up?' I threw the other boot close to the other one.

'You'd better be here when I do.'

Crawling underneath Raleigh's covers on his bed, I pulled Yancy's jacket closer on me.

'I wish you had stayed with me in Medical.'

'I was going too. Then you took a left off of memory lane into ancient history."

'Are you coming back by tomorrow?'

'I'll be there until you get released.'

'You should get some sleep. You've been through as much exhausting crap as I have tonight. You need rest.'

'So do you.'


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, no one tried to wake me up for breakfast. I stayed in bed until well after the day had begun.

Tendo knocked on my door during lunch. "Andi?"

I rolled away from the door, looking towards the wall. I could hear his footsteps on the metal floor as he walked away.

I fell asleep again and when I woke back up, the building was silent. As silent as a military post is capable of being in the middle of the night.

Getting up, I walked into the rangers' small bathroom and started to run the shower. I stepped into the water while it was still cold.

As soon as I stepped under the cold water, I was dragged back into Yancy's last thought.

I was back in the Jaeger, back in my husband's head. I could feel my arm torn off, blood running down my body. The cold air and freezing rain as I looked up at the stars. Then the hard impact into the ocean as I was dragged under.

"Angel? ANGEL?!" I heard Raleigh's voice coming through the back of my mind.

He joined me in the cold black memory, before pulling himself into his own version of the memory. He seemed to pause the thoughts on the Kaiju, "Angel! Andreanna! Come back to me!"

The blackness and cold faded from my mind as someone shut off the water and wrapped a towel around me. "Get medical!" I heard Marshall Pentecost's voice called into the empty metal apartment.

"Medical!" Tendo echoed.

'Andi?' Raleigh's voice came into my head again. I heard a rapid beeping sound coming through his ear drums.

"No," I said out loud. "No, medical."

"Are you sure?" The Marshall asked.

"Raleigh, someone go check on Raleigh." I mumbled, pulling the towel closer.

Marshall looked at Tendo who pushed the medical team out of the room. "Are you sure you're okay? You fell in the shower, Andi."

"Get out so I can get dressed!"

"Fine, but you're going to medical."

"I don't need medical, I'm fine."

"That's not a request, Kindermann. It's an order." Pentecost closed the door behind him.

Tossing through the dressers in the room, I found enough of Raleigh and Yancy's clothes to wear down to medical, grabbing a belt to keep the pants from falling down.

Tendo was waiting for me once I opened the door. "Do you keep any of your own clothing in their apartment?"

"We only stay in this apartment when Gipsy is up for the drop." I reminded him.

"Right, otherwise you and Yancy stay in your own apartment." He finished. "Or, you did."

I nodded, realizing he was right. Things would have to change.

'They don't have to change that soon.' Raleigh assured me. 'Are you alright?'

'No.' I stepped into the medical bay.

Nurses approached, getting ready to give me a physical, but I walked past them, going straight into Raleigh's room.

"She needs her vitals checked," Marshall said, following the nurse after me. "She fell in the shower."

"I didn't fall." I snapped, pulling up a chair.

"Check her and make sure she doesn't have a concussion."

Raleigh's doctor stepped around the bed and pulled my chair to face him.

'Stop fighting with the Marshall and let him make sure you're okay.' Raleigh said, a line on his machine beeping.

"Is he okay?" I asked the doctor.

The doctor looked at Pentecost.

"She's his legal next of kin." The Marshall answered.

"His neural readings his went off the charts 45 minutes ago. Stayed there until about 15 minutes ago."

'My neural readings? I was in your head that whole time.' Raleigh snapped inside my head.

'You have to go back into your own head, Ray."

'I'm sorry where am I now?"

"She's fine, luckily." The doctor stepped back. "A couple of bruises. Don't make a habit of falling in the shower, Mrs. Beckett."

I nodded at him. "Does Raleigh show signs of damage from the pilot?"

"Not that we can tell, but he's reading at coma level neural signs. He isn't awake or coherent." He shuffled. "No Ranger that's ever completed a solo pilot comes away without damage. We may not know the extents of his until he wakes up. If he wakes up."

"He's going to wake up." I announced, looking at the Ranger in the bed.

The Doctor nodded absently. He looked at the Marshall and nodded for him to follow outside of the room.

'I wonder what they're saying about me?' Raleigh asked.

I reached my hands out, tangling all 10 of my fingers with his Raleigh's. leaning my head against the bed, I let my mind reach outside of the room.

'….he'll wake up.' The doctor was saying to Pentecost. 'You've solo piloted, Stacker. You know the cost.'

'What's the physical damage?'

'His shoulder won't ever be the same. He was in the Drift when the Gipsy lost her arm. Relay gel does its job for better or for worse, He's looking at torn muscles and ligaments. There's going to be scars from the tears in the skin. His suit lost an arm, I wouldn't be surprised if he woke up and felt like he'd physically lost the arm. You're talking physical therapy for months.' The doctor took a chart off of the wall. 'The ejection alone ripped his suit which tore into his abdomen. He's got muscle tears and bruises and contusions in every muscle group in his body.'

'You said his neural capacity was lower than normal.'

'Psych won't even come see him until he wakes up. They may never clear him to Pilot again even if you had someone that was drift-compatible."

Stacker sighed. 'And Kindermann? Is she really okay?'

'Physically, she's fine.' The doctor hung the charts back up. Glancing around, he checked to make sure they were alone. 'Is what they said true? That she's in his head?'

Stacker looked through the windows at me leaning onto the ranger's arm. 'I've heard the rumors for years, but I know better than to believe scuttlebutt. Loccent didn't have comms on Gipsy or on Beckett.'

The doctor nodded, having heard multiple versions of this story already.

'She came into Loccent and said she knew he was alive and that she could find him. She saved us hours on the recovery of both Pilot and Jaeger. Jumped out of the plane before we even landed.' Stacker looked through the window, gauging to see if I was listening. 'If it weren't for her, who knows how much snow would have fallen by the time we had engaged our assets. She bought him hours that he would have spent in the environment, freezing and bleeding out.'

'His neural spike?'

'She collapsed in the shower. You called over to operations about needing to sedate him and Mr Choi made the connection between neural spike and Andi. He knows more than he's let on about the Becketts and their girl.'

'The neural spike was more intense than the spike of a Drift, Stacker. They could pilot a Jaeger-'

A nurse passed at that moment, causing them to silence.

'No!' Raleigh snapped. 'You're not doing that. Not again.'

I left Stacker and the Doctor to talk, going back to Raleigh. 'I'm not.'

His monitors spiked again, 'I won't let you do that again.'

'If you don't wake up, you can't protect me from anything.'


	7. Chapter 7

_Flashback (Academy)_

 _"Take a good look, cadets." The Ranger gestured to the mass of metal and sparks behind him. "Soon enough this will be the new Mark III Jaeger."_

 _Cadets nudged each other, pointing and watching as engineers and mechanics stressed over each detail._

 _"If you're lucky, and you work hard enough, two of you will be pilots of this beauty."_

 _"How incredible would that be," One of the cadets awed, nudging the girl next to him._

 _She stepped back, shying away from him._

 _"Hey, Raleigh, watch who you're pushing around," Another cadet walked up behind her._

 _The cadet, Raleigh, turned around. His blue eyes settled onto the girl in front of the other cadet. "Oh, shit, sorry." He quickly apologized._

 _She looked at his shirt pocket. 'Beckett'. Turning to look at the cadet that had corrected him, his shirt also said 'Beckett'._

 _"I was reaching for my brother," Raleigh explained, gesturing to the other man. "I'm Raleigh Beckett. That's my older brother Yancy."_

 _She nodded, carefully keeping distance between the two of them._

 _"Kindermann." Yancy read off of her name tape. "I hope your first name is shorter than that."_

 _She shook her head. "Andreanna."_

 _Raleigh laughed, quickly correcting himself as Yancy glared at him. "I think I'm going to just call you 'Andi' if that's okay?"_

 _She nodded._

 _Yancy looked over her head, back up at the potential Jaeger. "Can you believe that's our job?"_

 _"If you make it through the academy." Snapped a brunette cadet who walked past. "That's going to be my Jaeger, Beckett."_

 _"It might not be any of our Jaeger," Andi responded. "You can only pilot if you find someone you're drift compatible with."_

 _"I've heard your story, Kindermann. You've never successfully drifted with anyone. I don't even know why you're still in the Academy. You'll never pilot."_

 _Raleigh turned to Andi, watching her eyes flash from blue to brown._

 _The mean cadet's face went blank, and she turned around and wandered over to the railing before the Jaeger, staring off into the empty chest cavity._

 _"Don't listen to her," Yancy advised, watching the girl curiously._

 _Raleigh watched Andreanna's eyes flash back to blue. "Yeah, she's such a bitch I doubt anybody will be lining up to drift with her."_

 _"You'll be compatible with someone." Yancy offered. "I mean, I'm compatible with this jackass." He shoved Raleigh's shoulder._

 _"Why would they let you into the Academy if you hadn't successfully drifted with someone?"_

 _She shook her head. "I did. The person I drifted with flunked out before we came here."_

 _"As long as you don't end up compatible with Her," Raleigh nodded to the girl, still staring into the giant, "You'll be great."_

 _"Hell maybe this'll be your Mark III," Yancy put a hand on her shoulder._

 _"If we don't steal her from under you," Raleigh laughed._


	8. Chapter 8

I was woken up by a blanket being thrown over me.

"Didn't mean to wake you." Tendo whispered, adjusting the blanket over my feet.

"Any news?" I whispered back.

"You've been here for the last 12 hours, Andi. You know more than anyone."

I nodded.

"Do you have any news to share?"

I shook my head. "If I had the option to live in my own head, or wake up and live it for real? I've known a lot of Rangers who stay in their own heads."

"And the ones who don't?"

"Like Marshall Pentecost?" I sighed, looking at Raleigh. "You lose your co-pilot you spend the rest of your life fighting to keep others from feeling that pain. Doesn't make you a better Ranger. It makes you a shell of the ranger you once were."

Tendo looked down, "Try and get some sleep. I'll bring you something from breakfast in a few hours."

I nodded.

"Do you intend to go back to the barracks?"

I shook my head. "It's too quiet in there. I can't stand being in there alone."

"You know where to find me if you want company." He stepped out of the room. "Andi? The Gipsy is back."

I nodded at him, watching the door shut as he left.

Getting up, I sat on the side of Raleigh's bed, looking down at his face.

'Are you gonna stay here until something changes?' Raleigh asked.

'I was going to stay until you woke up, but you seem content to stay in my head.'

'Everything hurts.' His mind started to slip into memories. 'My arm feels like it got ripped off. My stomach and ribs feel like I lost a boxing match.'

'You did. With a Kaiju.'

'There's a part of me that feels like its missing. The part of my mind that can't figure out whether it was me or Yancy that got ripped out of Gipsy.'

I nodded, though I doubt he noticed. 'I keep waking up from the nightmare that I'm looking up into the stars, falling into the freezing waters.'

'The screech. The sound of the kaiju … It's still in my head.'

'That's because you're still in your head.' I laid down next to him. 'I can see your nightmares, Raleigh. You're playing through the mission over and over. It's not going to change. You're not going to wake up to Yancy in the bed next to you.'

'Keep falling in the shower and I'll wake up to you in the next bed.'

'You promised to come back to me. Don't make me live here in the real world alone.'

He didn't respond.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up to nurses coming and going. A few of them had clipboards and were taking notes.

A hand pressed into my back as the chest underneath my head rose and fell.

'Sleepy head.' Raleigh thought.

I groaned, turning my head into his shoulder to block out the lights that had most definitely not been on when I fell asleep.

"Hey, Angel," A raspy voice croaked above my head.

I picked my head up.

Raleigh's blue eyes were open as he smiled down at me. "It's about time. I've spent the last hour telling the nurses not to wake you up."

I sat up, "How long have you been awake?"

One of the nurses stepped up to raise the bed.

"An hour or two." His voice was still raspy. Obvious that he hadn't spoken in a few days. "I hung around listening to your dreams for a part of that. Then the nurses came in and realized I was awake. Apparently they can't bring in the doctor to examine me until they got you off of my bed."

I rolled my eyes, running a hand through my hair. "How long was I asleep?"

"Not that long, but I wasn't exactly awake to look at the clock when you fell asleep." He answered. "You going to stick around while they examine me?"

I shook my head. "I'm going back to the barracks to sleep."

'I'm in your head. You'd better actually make it back to the barracks to sleep.'

I scoffed at him and one of the nurses looked at me with a concerned look. Getting up, I grabbed the jacket I'd brought here with me. One of Yancy's leather jackets.

"What happened to the Gipsy Danger jackets?" Raleigh asked.

"I don't wear them all the time, Ray." I pulled my hair out of the collar. "I'm not nearly as show-off and flashy as you and Yancy are. Were…." I corrected.

His blue eyes glazed over dully as I felt my own gain hot tears.

I walked back over to the bed. Leaning on the bed I kissed his forehead, 'For luck.'

It crossed my mind to take the long way around and see the Gipsy but I was tired and I wanted to be not in the hospital.

'If they found the Gipsy….' Raleigh brought up as I opened the doors to his and Yancy's room.

'You wonder if they found his body?'

'Yeah.'

'I'm sure they'll tell one of us once they recover him.'

I took off the jacket, then sat on the bed and started on my boots.

'Have you slept any since the mission?'

I shrugged. 'Off and on. It's hard to sleep when I keep getting dragged into your head every time I close my eyes.'

'I've been to out of it to remember what's been going through my head.'

'Lose. You replaying the memory. I've heard your voice yell "it went through the hull!" more than a hundred times in the last few days.'

He nodded, I watched his eyes stare off and lose focus as the memory played for him again.

'I wish you could be here.' I stood up, undoing my belt buckle before peeling off my long sleeve shirt.

'To help you undress?' He asked. I could see his memories turning and diving into places we didn't usually discuss.

'To keep me from being alone. To keep me from sleeping here in this freezing cold room, all by myself.'

'You slept on your own up until you and Yancy got married.'

'Not often. I always managed to sneak in here, or Yancy into my room. Or onto the Gipsy.'

He smirked, remembering all the times I'd crept into their room and climbed onto the top bunk. 'Still roughly 4 times a week on your own.'

'Emphasis on the 'roughly'.'

'Sleeping on my bunk, or up top?'

I put my hands on my bare hips as I contemplated. 'Top.' I climbed up there, settling on the pillow that still smelled like my husband and underneath covers that didn't have the same warmth.

'Sweet dreams, Angel.' Raleigh mumbled, fading to the back of my mind as I laid back and quickly fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

They found Yancy's body about a week after they brought in the Gipsy.

Body was a relative term. They brought in pieces of armor first, and most of Yancy that hadn't been drenched in highly acidic Kaiju blood.

Raleigh was able to leave his hospital room by then.

There was no need to confirm identity of the body, his Drift suit was enough to identify him. His helmet was remarkably in one piece, protecting his face. The remains were quickly released to me as his wife, with Raleigh as close second, to make the decisions.

The actual funeral was small and short, Raleigh and myself. The Chapel in the Shatterdome was reserved for us through the evening. We stayed there in silence for a few hours, before Raleigh wrapped an arm around me and took my numbed-through vessel back to the barracks to sleep. Tendo and Marshall Pentecost were there for an even shorter time.

The Marshall hosted a larger funeral on behalf of the Shatterdome. It was held during the time of our private funeral, keeping our event free of unwelcome guests. Raleigh and I were incredibly glad we didn't attend that part. Standing around trying to listen to people mourn Yancy wasn't either of our idea of important or significant.

The PPDC offered to send the body back to the Beckett's home, but Raleigh said it wouldn't matter. That no one was there to mourn or cherish his remains. Instead I left Raleigh to make the decision and he opted to cremate him.

"What're we going to do with his things?" Raleigh asked over physical therapy a few days after they cremated his brother. "What're we doing with his remains?"

I shook my head, staring off into the blue mat he was standing on.

"You're his wife. There's no argument that you're obligated to everything."

I nodded. "Everything is already in your room."

"There are a lot of things in your room. The two of you basically used it as a storage closet."

"It made more sense to have the two of you in one room for deployments."

"What're you taking?"

"Do you intend to go anywhere?"

"No. I'm staying with you as long as you need me. And we're drift compatible so I don't see them having you move anywhere."

"I want his helmet. I already told Stacker I wanted the helmet he drifted in."

"Are you sure about that? It was on him for a few days."

"In freezing temperatures. He's having the technicians clean and repair it."

He grimaced as the nurse convinced him to stretch a particular way. "The jacket's yours."

I nodded. "You'd have had to rip it out of my cold dead hands."

"Liar. You'd claw my eyes out."

I smiled lightly. "Do you want the motorcycle?"

I watched his nurse glare at the mention.

"You love that thing."

"I don't think I'd ever ride it again."

"I don't think I can ride it for a little while." He had seen the glare also.

"We'll figure out the motorcycle later." I shifted, pulling Yancy's shirt down around my hands. "Do you want any of his clothes?"

He looked at me, swallowed up in mostly his brother's clothes. "I think you need them more than I do."


	11. Chapter 11

Marshall Pentecost called us into his office a few weeks later, right after Raleigh ended his physical therapy.

"I'm exceedingly sorry for your loss and nothing the PPDC can offer will make that up." He started, sitting at his desk. "But decisions need to be made."

I nodded, looking at my brother-in-law.

"Jaeger productions are on the decline, so there isn't a necessity to relocate all of your things."

I shook my head. "I'd rather move into the Beckett's room if possible."

"It is typically not allowed to put a male and a female in the same room. You'll have to hold your own room, but I doubt anyone will say anything if you primarily reside together." He flipped through a folder on the desktop. "The PPDC is concerned about funding the repairs on Gipsy Danger."

"She's one of the best Jaegers ever built." Raleigh defended. "What're they concerned about?"

"The fact that she's only got one pilot." He looked between the two of us. "I can't justify the repairs of a Jaeger that may never be used again."

"So what're you saying?" Raleigh asked. "That you want me and Angel to pilot the Gipsy together?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Ranger Beckett. Unless you and Mrs Beckett agree to pilot Gipsy Danger, either together or with a new pilot, I can't ask the Corp to fix her."

I nodded. "Gipsy was always Raleigh and Yancy's baby. From the moment in the academy when they saw the shell."

"I'm not letting anyone else in my head." Raleigh snapped. I could feel his head contorting as he got angry with the whole situation.

"Not even her?" He gestured to me.

'Stop, Ray,' I mumbled into his head. 'We need to talk about this without him.'

"I need to think about this." Raleigh barked at the Marshall. "My brother's barely been dead more than a month and you're asking me to replace him."

"No, I think he's asking me to replace him." I responded.

"It's on the table now. The Gipsy still has two pilots, who are both Becketts," He added the last part.

Raleigh got up and left the room.

I followed him.


	12. Chapter 12

"I can't believe him!" Raleigh snapped, stomping into our room.

I shut the door behind me. "He's got a world to protect. We are still at war."

"And there are other Jaegers!"

"Gipsy Danger is one of the best."

"Gipsy IS the best."

"They only want her back on the front lines. Back protecting the world."

"I'm not getting into that Jaeger without Yancy." He was now pacing back and forth.

"They're not suggesting that you take on a candidate straight out of the academy."

"No they just want me to take you!"

"What's wrong with me?!"

He stopped. "Do you really want to get back into a Jaeger after Manilla?"

"I'd get into a Jaeger with you! For you to never have another person in your head!"

"I don't wanna get into the Gipsy at all. It'll never be the same, having someone else in my head."

"Are you refusing to even try?"

He stopped. "You've been out of my head since I got out of the hospital. You're avoiding me and when I reached for you, you nearly gave yourself whiplash. You don't want to be in my head anymore than I want to be in the drift."

"I'm a pilot, Raleigh. If you don't get back into the Gipsy, they're going to put me into a ship without you."

"Not after that stunt you pulled in Manilla." He assured, but he didn't seem so sure.

"That 'stunt' doesn't matter. We're at war and I'm still an able bodied pilot who didn't break any laws." I argued. "I disobeyed my command, that's the only thing they had on me after that."

"You've got the choice of who you want to be drift compatible with." He adjusted topics. "You don't ever have to be drift compatible with anyone ever again."

"Except you. And it's really easy for you to have this argument when the only person you're still compatible with is me! There's no guarantee that you'll ever get another copilot!"

"I don't want another copilot!" He repeated. "Not you, not anyone!"

I stopped. There was no response for this argument. He wouldn't budge and I couldn't make him. Turning, I walked out of the room.

"Andi!" He called behind me, sounding defeated.


	13. Chapter 13

Raleigh and I didn't talk for days. He stayed in his dorm and I stayed in mine.

Two weeks in, my door was opened.

"Get ready," Tendo snapped, turning on the lights. "We're going into the city."

"Why?" I asked as he started my shower.

"Because, you've sulked, and suffered and mourned." He dropped onto the bed beside me. "It's time you started to pull yourself together."

"Why? So I can get back into a Jaeger?"

"No, so you can do more than lay in bed, living through other people's heads." Tendo looked at me. "Please tell me you're still in other people's heads. This gets even sadder if you are staying in bed and living inside of your own head."

I groaned, tossing the covers back and heading towards the bathroom.

Once I got down to the exit bay, where Rangers and soldiers were able to get lifts to the city, Raleigh was waiting for us.

He sighed. "Tendo get to you too?"

I nodded. "Always."

We didn't talk during the transport, but once we got to the city, were were forced to stand next to each other.

"What do you have planned?" Raliegh called to Tendo, who was bouoncing around in fronf ot us.

"I don't share secrets." Tendo said, "Besides, how bad of a night could I have planned?"

I scoffed. "You? Mr. This-guys-girlfriend-really-likes-me?"

Tendo nodded. "I just thought both of you would like to, not be in the Shatterdome."

"And you're just going to be there with us?" Raleigh asked.

"Of course not, I'm going find that guy whose girlfriend really likes me." He laughed.

I shook my head, glancing at Raleigh while he was looking at Tendo.

"A specific one? Or just the first one willing to wander off with you?"

He shrugged. "You fight Kaiju to feel alive, I go after chicks with boyfriends."

"I don't do it to feel alive." I argued. "I do it to make sure other people feel alive."

"Also it isn't a bad use of your gift." Tendo pointed out.

"Yeah," Raleigh added. "You are drift compatable with every ranger that there is."

I didn't respond to either of them.

Tendo turned back to me. "What do you see in other people's heads? Like right now while we are out and about?"

"I don't." I answered him. "I've perfected how to not get into people's heads simply because we are in the same general area."

"So you don't even like ... wander into the minds of people out of curiosity? Or when you're lost so help with directions?"

"Nope." I answered.

He looked dissapointed. "That really is no fun."

Raleigh smirked behind him, "You've never drifted with her, Tendo. It is so much less than 'no fun'."

Tendo let it roll out of his mind as he saw some girl pass by the group.

Raleigh hooked his arm through Andi's and led her away as Tendo went after the girl. "Drinks?"

"Yes please."


	14. Chapter 14

Raleigh nudged Andreanna. "Hey, we're back at the Shatterdome."

She woke up, standing and walking off of the transport.

The Ranger stayed close to her, placing his hand in the small of her back and guiding her back to the sleeping quarters.

Tendo had hooked up and stayed behind in the city. He would catch a transport back to the Shatterdome before his next shift.

Raleigh brought Andi to her room first. He typed in the pass code, Andi's wedding anniversary.

He followed her in, watching her sit on the queen bed and start picking at her shoe laces.

"You okay, Andi?"

She glanced at him, "No." She gave up on her shoe.

He smirked, walking over and helping her. "So much for tequila making your clothes fall off."

She laughed.

He tossed her shoes randomly behind him. He looked up at her when he was done.

"How did you drink so much less than me?" She asked, leaning forward.

"I only went because I knew Tendo would get into trouble on his own." He responded. "Guess he tricked me."

She nodded, exaggerating the movement. "He gave me some line about not living my own life."

Raleigh smirked up at her. "Neither of us have been living our lives."

She set a hand on his face. "We were so careful to make sure we didn't become robots, maybe if we had we wouldn't be hurting so much."

"Speak for yourself." He said, his fingers settling over hers. "You have an annual ritual of finding a way to hurt me."

She stopped smiling finally. She leaned forward, pressing her head to his. "I never mean to. I just ... "

"Yeah, you do what you have to and chose the path that's going to hurt less."

The alcohol in her head made it hazy, and being inside of her own head was dizzy.

The physical contact between them forced Andi into Raleigh's thoughts, and they were so much clearer than her own.

He was in a memory, seeing her, dressed in her Jaeger Drop gear, loose hair falling into her face. Tears dropped down onto her helmet.

 _'Why, Andreanna?' He snapped in the memory. 'I just want a reason, you owe me some kind of explanation!'_

 _'I don't have one, Ray.' She finally looked up at him, her eyes puffy, her lips pouted out in a way Raleigh had though so sexy before now._

 _'Yes, you do. You didn't just decide to love my brother instead.' He threw his own helmet through a locker nearest to them. 'Were you going to say anything to me? Were you even going to mention the fact that you were choosing my brother over me?!"_

 _"I told Marshall not to make me drift with you." She mumbled. 'I didn't want you in my head.'_

 _'Because you didn't want me to see that you were going to break up with me and start sleeping with my brother?!'_

 _"I'm not compatible to Yancy!' She shouted, feeling so helpless as she felt him get angrier._

 _'Bullshit, Andi. You are drift compatible with everyone."_

 _"No, I'm not." She turned the helmet in her fingers. 'I can adapt my brain waves to work with any Jaeger pilot in existence. That is not the same as being naturally drift compatible.'_

 _'So break it down for me, because I really need to understand this.'_

 _'When I'm in Yancy's head, he talks and I hear. Sometimes I can respond. When I'm in your head, you wander into mine. I can show you entire memories, you can dive into my mind and explore. We have equal access to each others lives, even outside of the drift!'_

 _He finally stopped pacing and looked at her. 'That is exactly the opposite of what I'm trying to hear.'_

 _'What I am trying to say is that I cannot live like that. I need secrets, I need privacy inside of my own head. I have that with Yancy, I can't have that with you, Raleigh.'_

Andi pulled out of the memory, back into her own head. She attempted to pull away from Raleigh.

He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, holding her in place as he closed distance between them and kissed her.

Her hand on his cheek rose, her finger tangling in his short hair. She pulled against his hair, tilting her head to break his kiss. "Ray..."

"Andi, don't." He pleaded against her lips. "We have pretended not to fucking love each other, for years now. Just ... don't lie to me, not tonight."

She opened her mouth to argue but no words came out.

When she failed to reply, Raleigh took his chance and captured her open mouth in another kiss.

While they kissed, he rose from kneeling on the floor, wrapping an arm around her waist before he moved to hover on top of her, she followed his movements and lay back on the bed.

He let go of her neck, holding his body weight above her with that arm.

She kept a hand tangled in his hair, her other hand lifting the edge of his shirt to rest on his warm torso.

The Ranger moaned as her cold fingers broke the increasing heat of his skin. His knee pressed into the bed between her thighs. He took his lips away from hers, going to kiss first her jawline then following down her neck.

She let go of him, bringing both of her hands to fight with his clothing.

Once she had his pants unbuttoned, she took hold of his shirt, lifting it up towards his shoulders.

He complied, taking the shirt from her and proceeding to take it the rest of the way off of his body.

She hooked her fingers into the back pockets of his jeans, pulling them out of their proper placement on his hips.

He chuckled at her actions, unbuttoning her own pants with one hand. He leaned down and kissed her again before getting off of the bed.

Kicking his boots off, he slipped out of his jeans and boxers.

Andi was momentarily distracted by the bright pink and red scars crossing his arm and shoulder. Scars from his last Jaeger Drop.

Raleigh recognized the violet shade in her eyes, lifting her shirt to rest his fingers against her ribs he opened his mind, inviting her to share his current emotions.

Blue began to stain her eyes as she slipped into his head and faded as she pulled herself back.

She grabbed the bottom of her shirt, slipping out of it and tossing it onto the floor.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he picked her up, one hand passing underneath her pants, causing them to slip off of her ass and drop to the floor with his own.

His hand stopped at her thigh, guiding her legs to wrap around him.

She moaned, feeling him hard, pressed against her as they returned to the mattress.

He used one hand to unhook her bra, the only piece of clothing left on her body.

By now, they had slipped into a place familiar to them. Intoxicated by each other as they dropped into the Drift that they shared when they were together.

She bucked her hips into him as he lay his weight on top of her.

He pulled back, adjusting himself before sliding into her.

Her head fell back, she moaned as his hardness slid inside of her.

Her hand found its way onto his back, digging her nails into his muscles as he held still for a moment.

She had let go of all control she had over her gift, their mutual sensations of pleasure colliding together in their mental union.

He dug his fingertips into her thigh as he hesitated, relishing the feeling of her warm body and the heat enveloping him.

She leaned up, kissing his neck before he looked down at her. She pressed her lips into his, deepening it as their tongues played against each other.

He finally started moving, pulling out of her before sliding back in. He swallowed her moans, feeling her thighs tighen as she matched his motion. He pulled back and when he pressed back into her, she lifted up and met him.

They continued, in perfect rhythm together.

He felt Andi clench around him. He barely managed to cover her mouth with his hand to stifle her cries of pleasure. He cursed as he helped her ride out her orgasm, trying not to come inside of her as she pressed around him.

He kept going, even after she finished. He was familiar enough with her body to know how she would react.

They went for another few minutes before he couldn't hold back any longer. He let himself fall into pleasure, cumming inside of her as he covered her mouth with his own.

The feeling of him cumming inside of her caused her to cum again. She practically screamed her pleasure into their kiss as she hooked her leg over his thigh and drug her nails into his back while they rode out the fireworks together.

He broke their kiss, pressing his forehead into her collarbone while they both caught their breath.

He pulled his half-hard length out of her. Looking down at her, blissful in afterglow.

Her mind wandered to the pair of them climbing under the covers and finally getting to sleep.

He smirked at her, agreeing with what he had gleamed into her head.

The two of them minimally shuffled around as they got underneath her blankets.

Raleigh pressed the light switch that was mounted next to the bed, turning and burying his face in her hair as he wrapped his arms around her. "Good night, Angel."

"Mmmm." She moaned, curling her body into his.


	15. Chapter 15

Andi woke up in the next morning, groaning against the pain of her hangover.

Holding her aching head, she rolled over in the bunk. "Raleigh, I'm killing you next time you suggest tequila."

There was no response in the quiet room.

"Ray" She called, looking around in the dark. She clicked the light switch on.

She pulled the sheets against her, sitting up. "Raleigh?"

No response.

She sighed, "You'd better bring me back breakfast, asshole." She mumbled into the empty room.

Going to the dresser, she tossed through her clothing.

Standing still, she reached out for the Ranger's mind, somewhere in the Shatterdome.

There was nothing. She couldn't sense him anywhere within the building.

She quickly pulled on sweats, putting her feet into sneakers before leaving her own room for his.

She typed Yancy's passcode into the room. It flashed red. She typed in her own and it flashed red. "Shit." She typed in Raleigh's code finally and it flashed green.

The room was silent, almost eerily. The bathroom door was open and the sheets on both bunks were in disarray.

She walked over to the dresser, the top drawer was empty.

The next drawer down was also empty.

She started opening all of the drawers in the dresser. All of Raleigh's drawers.

They were all empty.

She turned and went to the closet, again finding all of Raleigh's clothing missing and Yancy's clothing still handing up.

All of the Jaeger jump suits were accounted for.

She went to the desk against a wall, yanking open drawers. The box of photos the three of them had compiled, was gone.

She stepped back, scanning the top of the desk.

Slowly turning, she caught sight of a Gipsy Danger jacket on the bottom bunk.

The jacket was mostly covered in the shadows cast by the top bunk.

She walked over, picking up the jacket to see the initials 'R.B.' on the inside tag.

Yancy's jacket was back in her room, safely hung in the closet.

Pulling on the jacket, she noticed one pocket being heavier than the other side. She reached in, pulling out photos and a note.

Andi sat heavily on the bed, picking through the photos.

 _Her photo in her wedding dress, Yancy in his Ranger dress uniform._

 _Her and both brothers in their dress uniforms on her wedding day._

 _Graduation photo of the three of them coming out of the PPDC Academy as Rangers._

 _Her in her wedding dress with Raleigh in his cargo pants and bomber jacket, taken right before he got dressed to walk her down the aisle._

 _Her in her wedding dress and a Gipsy Danger jacket, Raleigh had brought it to the wedding just so they could take this photo._

 _Her and Raleigh in Jaeger drop suits on their first drop with the Gipsy._

She dropped the photos onto the bed one by one, finally getting to the note.

 _Angel, I love you more than anything._

 _Since the first day they put you in my head I have considered it impossible to live without you. You have been my angel all of these years._

 _You chose to Yancy and I used to hate the two of you for that. Then you got married and I had never seen the two of you happier. The only good thing was that 'till death do you part' you were always going to be a part of us, a part of our lives._

 _You were as permanent to me as Yancy was. Except Yancy is gone now._

 _We are drift compatible and for that reason, any time we are in the same base, they are going to push us to share a Jaeger._

 _I can't have you in my head. I can't lose you like I lost Yancy._

 _I can't have anyone in my head like that, I can't share my thoughts and memories with anyone._

 _I had to leave, I knew that from the minute Pentecost pulled us into the office and tried to talk us into Drifting. I love you so much, and I know this is going to hurt you. I cannot say I'm sorry enough, I can only hope you can eventually forgive me._

 _I did what I could to ensure that you could reach me no matter where in the world I am, mostly because I am not sure where I am going from here._

 _I love you my angel,_

 _Raleigh._

Tears dropped onto the page.

She dropped the note, laying back onto the bed.

Closing her eyes, she reached out for Raleigh's mind.

She found him finally. He was asleep and she could not come up with anything to say.


	16. Chapter 16

His dream was a memory of her wedding, they were both standing in her old Dormitary.

 _He sat down in her desk chair, watching her shuffle through her makeup on the bathroom counter._

 _"What are you doing, Angel?" Raleigh asked her._

 _"Looking for my mascara."_

 _"You know that is not what I meant."_

 _She sighed, glancing at him in the mirror._

 _"You have managed to stay out of the Drift with me for weeks." He pointed out. "You're trying to keep me out of your thoughts. So what are they?"_

 _"Stop it, Ray. I don't need your input."_

 _"I know." He watched her close the mascara and reach for something else. "I want an explanation, Andi."_

 _She dropped a plastic container back to the counter. "An explanation for what, Ray?"_

 _"Leaving me for Yancy."_

 _She sighed. "You are asking me why I'm marrying your brother, 2 hours before I marry your brother?"_

 _"I just want to understand."_

 _She stepped away from the counter, crossing the room and tangling both of her hands in Raleigh's hair. Her thumbs pressed into his cheeks._

 _His eyes flashed violet, and she pulled him into her mind to feel everything going on in every mind in the Shatterdome._

 _He reached up, wrapping his strong fingers around her wrists and took her hands off of his head._

 _The contact of his fingers on her skin kept the feelings and images in his head but Andi had been so shocked by his jerking her around that she lost her grip on the torture._

 _He recovered slowly as his eyes went back to their natural shade of light blue._

 _"That happens when we are together." She snapped. "You slip into my head when we touch. You get into my head by accident when we sleep in the same bed."_

 _He watched her walk back into the bathroom and correct her hair which was still perfectly curled. "So what?"_

 _"So, that does not happen when I am with Yancy." She sighed, picking up another plastic palate. "He doesn't accidentally suffer through my gift."_

 _Raleigh walked to their kitchen for a drink._

 _"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready?"_

 _"It'll take you longer to finish your makeup than it will take me to get into my dress uniform." He smiled, walking back to watch her applying a light pink lipstick._

 _"I'm done with my makeup." She walked over and pulled out the shoes she had chosen. Flat, violet sneakers that kept her shorter than the boys and didn't get caught in the grate flooring around the Shatterdome._

 _She slipped out of her jeans and t-shirt and started picking up the lingerie that she had excitedly picked out for the honeymoon._

 _Raleigh went to the closet and started taking out his PPDC dress uniform. He started stripping out of his own civilian clothing._

 _Andreanna hooked her bra, turning to look at Raleigh as he belted his dress pants._

 _He looked up at her. "You don't have to go through with everything."_

 _"I love him, and I love you. This is the best way to keep everything 'normal'." She explained._

 _"Our lives have never been 'normal' and they never will be."_

 _She nodded. "Help me into my dress?"_

 _He tucked in his white t-shirt and walked over. Picking up the light weight white dress, he carefully lifted it over her head._

 _Once he let go of the dress, she set to work straightening it out over her body._

 _Raleigh stepped back, admiring her in the lacy white dress._

 _She sat down and began pulling on her shoes. "You need to finish getting dressed."_

 _He nodded, walking back to the closet._

 _An hour and a half later, Andi set her hand on Raleigh's arm, walking down the aisle to the alter._

 _Yancy was standing at the alter in a uniform that matched his brothers. His eyes were locked on her, in her white lacy gown and cute flat sneakers that kept her shorter than him._


	17. Chapter 17

Tendo Choi stayed out of her way in the next few days.

Everyone did.

Andi didn't leave for food. There were enough snacks in the Beckett's kitchen to get away with her hiding out. A few days later when she was running low, Tendo began leaving packages at the doorway.

So much physical contact with someone who was drift compatible to herself, she slipped back into Raleigh's mind whenever she fell asleep.

Neither of them had anything to say to each other.

Finally, a few days later she got up. Got dressed in standard off-duty gear for Rangers. Black long sleeve, cargo pants, boots. Pulling her hair into a ponytail she stepped out of the room.

I tracked Marshall Pentecost across the Shatterdome, finally catching up to him as he sat down for lunch in his office.

"Ranger Beckett." He greeted as I stepped into his office.

"I want to go back out." I blurted.

He choked on his sandwich. "Back out how?"

"I want to get back into a Jaeger."

"It isn't that simple, Ranger. We have to find someone you are Drift Compatible with. You have stayed out of a Jaeger because-"

"I've been out of a Jaeger because I got married. PPDC gave me a Shatterdome position to keep all three Becketts from dying in battle."

He looked at her for a long moment, trying to gauge if she was serious or not. "Does this have anything with the other Ranger Beckett's AWOL earlier this week?"

"I am a deployable Ranger with a phenomenal record, are you putting me in a Jaeger or not?"

"And drift compatibility? I've heard all the rumors about you getting into a Jaeger with anyone, but that isn't in your file, we can't just ignore the fact that you can read minds."

"Of course we can. Nobody cared that I drifted with both Beckett brothers."

"They were drift compatible with each other, it was assumed you were just an accessory to that bond."

"I've been in a Jaeger with Hercules Hanson before."

He paused, glancing at the computer before pushing his lunch away and typing in a few codes. "Are you sure you want to go back out?"

"Positive."

"And if Raleigh comes back and wants to drift with you?"

"Short of a direct order, he can screw off."

He glanced at her. "I am curious."

"What?"

"Have you ever actually been drift compatible with anyone? Honestly?"

"Yeah, I have. It didn't work out."

"Hercules Hanson, you drifted with him in Manilla. Lucky Seven is still a deployable Jaeger, until they finish its replacement." He reached for his lunch again, "Herc's son Chuck is still in the academy."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." She finally sat down in a chair. "Can you set it up or not?"

"His son is in the Ranger academy. When he graduates, he will become his father's drift partner, they are compatible."

"Striker Eureka isn't even completed yet. There is no reason to let Herc and me get out of practice just because I am here."

"Fine, Andreanna. I'll get you out of the snow. Pack your bags, I'll put the transfer through once I'm done with lunch."

"Put 'Kindermann' on the transfer. My husband is dead, I don't want more sympathy."

"Yes, Ranger."


	18. Chapter 18

I dropped onto my bed once I was back in my room.

 _'Angel?'_

 _'Screw off.'_

I could feel Raleigh's sigh through our mental link.

 _'Where the fuck do you get off ...' Memories flooded forward before I found the words._

 _'I spent the entire night trying to keep you out of my head. The last thing I wanted was for you to realize I was leaving. I couldn't handle that, not from you.'_

 _'So you slept with me instead?!'_

 _'It renewed our bond so we could stay in touch.'_ He looked up at a ceiling, _I couldn't tell where. 'And it distracted you from getting into my head to see where I was going.'_

 _'You had no clue where you were going.'_

 _'You know me so well." He paused for a moment. "How are things out there?'_

 _'I wouldn't know. People are treating me like a plague.'_

 _'You could come join me.'_

 _'If that were true, you would have taken me with you when you left.'_

 _'You could push for a discharge. 'Cause of Yancy.'_

 _'I don't know how to live out there, Ray. I don't have family, I'm alone and I always have been. I understand this world, I'm not going to rush out and try to be a civilian.'_

 _'You really have come so far from when you were in the academy.' I felt him flipping through those memories._


	19. Chapter 19

_Flashback_

 _"KINDERMANN!" The instructor shouted. "Control your drift! Stay steady!"_

 _The girl groaned, and her co-pilot pressed eject._

 _"This isn't working, Marshall. We are not compatible." The other girl snapped, taking off her helmet._

 _Andi took off her own helmet, watching the girl storm out of the room._

 _"I'm going to go check on Cadet Hernandez. Beckett, Yancy. You're in charge."_

 _The Cadet nodded. "Everyone step out, get a break while we set up for the next pair."_

 _Raleigh stepped onto the drift platform._

 _"This is crap!" Andi hissed at him, "I can launch the drift without a partner."_

 _Raleigh crossed his arms. "Nobody likes a show off."_

 _She tossed the helmet in her hands. "Everyone's gone."_

 _Yancy nodded._

 _"Launch the drift." She went to put on the helmet again._

 _"Wait," Raleigh stopped her. "You can't do this. You can't control a Jaeger all on your own, MARK I's practically killed their pilots."_

 _"If my heart rate falls, get into my head." She mumbled, meeting Raleigh's eyes. "Yancy, Launch the drift."_

 _The older cadet sighed, going through the motions as he initiated the drift sequence._

 _"You sure, Andi?"_

 _"Positive." Her voice carried through the helmet._

 _Yancy initiated her into the drift._

 _Battle simulations happened around her, attempting to force any kind of reaction out of her._

 _The drift suit forced pain and various stimuli into her body while she was forced to react to combat with a Kaiju._

 _"She's steady." Yancy informed in amazement. "Going into the next level of combat."_

 _"She shouldn't do this." Raleigh argued, watching her in the combat simulation._

 _"She shouldn't even be able too, but she is. And she's winning." His brother chuckled._

 _Andi completed moves that they had learned in Combat Course. She had nearly won the battle when the Kaiju reared up and sank it's fangs into the leg of the Jaeger._

 _She screamed in the simulation._

 _The Kaiju managed to swoop the Jaeger off of its feet onto the bottom of the Ocean. Stepping onto the robot, the simulation Kaiju began to rip into the metal rip cage._

 _"Heart rate is rising."_

 _Raleigh tilted forward, then hesitated._

 _"Oxygen levels fluctuating." Yancy looked up. "She's panicking in the simulator. The drift is faltering, she's losing it. Ray!"_

 _Raleigh stepped forward, sliding his fingers underneath the neck of the suit, pressing his fingers into her skin. 'Andi?'_

 _Inside of the drift now, he rotated controls from her mind to his own. Rotating an arm up, digging a robotic foot into the ground so that he rolled the robot and the Kaiju lost balance in the water._

 _"Andi?"_

 _"Here."_

 _"Left or Right?"_

 _"Left." She pulled into the left hemisphere of the drift._

 _The two of them got up. They squared off with the alien monster when suddenly they were pulled from the Drift._

 _Raleigh let go of Andi and Andi rushed to remove her helmet._

 _Yancy was standing at the control panel with an Operations Tech._

 _'What the hell was that?'_

 _'Nothing.'_

 _'Nothing?' The tech barked. 'You just shared a Drift with only one suit. The Marshalls-'_

 _'Don't hear about this." Andi snapped._

 _"The hell -"_

 _"You tell anyone what just happened, I'm telling the Marshall about you and Katerina."_

 _"How did you know about that?"_

 _"You've got a very open mind, Mr. Choi."_

 _"If I'm going to keep the secret anyway, you might as well tell me exactly what this is." He gestured to the three of them._

 _Andi nodded. "Fine. Jaeger bay, after classes."_

 _"We can't just hang out in a Jaeger Bay."_

 _"Why, cause Katerina is already expecting you there?"_

 _The Beckett boys laughed at the look on his face._


End file.
